


The Care and Feeding of the Scientist Three

by LadyLustful



Series: A Marvelous Anthology of Crack Porn [20]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Awkward Flirting, Crack, Darcy has no brain-to-mouth filter, F/M, Gen, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, Jane Foster & Darcy Lewis Friendship, Pre-Het, Rhodey is used to people saying the weirdest things, STEALTH PUNS, Tony has no brain-to-mouth filter, gen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-11-07 06:10:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11052936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLustful/pseuds/LadyLustful
Summary: Common interests, like taking care your pathologically absent-minded scientist BFF doesn't starve themselves or blow up the universe, tend to bring people together. And logorhea makes things interesting.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Satanachia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Satanachia/gifts), [Croyance](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Croyance/gifts), [Nichiko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nichiko/gifts), [euphoria queen (euphoria814)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/euphoria814/gifts), [Ew (winchesters_soulmate)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/winchesters_soulmate/gifts), [invisible_cities](https://archiveofourown.org/users/invisible_cities/gifts).



> Inspirujecie mnie crackami. Tak trzymać. Sorry, że nie po polsku, ale kiepsko mi się pisze Avengers nie po angielsku.  
> Your crack inspires me, good job! Sorry it's not Polish, but it's easier for me to write Avengers in English.

The door dinged as it slid open, but the room's sole occupant did not pay any attention to it.  
"Just a minute, whoever you are!", she called, stacking what looked like three lunchboxes - red, green and blue - atop one another. "I'll get right back to you after I've fed the Scientist Three. "  
"Darcy Lewis I presume? I'm James Rhodes."  
Darcy turned, and froze, and stared.  
"Holy fuck you're War Machine? Cause I wanna ride you, and climb you like a tree, and lick you like a muffin. A big, handsome dark chocolate muffin. Was that rude? I swear it wasn't meant to be, it's just that you're gorgeous and I like chocolate, and dammit I'm rambling and probably making a moron of myself."  
"It's okay. I'm friends with Tony, and he once compared me to a road crew."


	2. Origin of the Lunchboxes

"I'm getting you lunchboxes", Darcy annonounces to the Scientist Three one late morning, over coffee (in Tony and Jane's case) and green tea (in Bruce's).  
"Huh?"  
"Since I have to remind you to eat like you are a bunch of children, let me at least get you a set of sufficiently juvenile lunch boxes. They'll be easier to carry down to the lab than plates anyway, and harder to break."  
"Can I get Iron Man?" Tony pipes up like an overenthusiastic preteen. "He's the coolest and I'm the coolest and I actually am him, so..."  
"Okay, Tony..."  
"And Bruce gets the Hulk obviously... Cheer up, Brucie Bear, we love you and we love the big green lug, too, and we want you to know it. He's the second coolest after Iron Man."  
Bruce gives a reluctant, inarticulate noise of agreement.  
"Actually", Darcy concedes, "colour-coding and name tags aren't a bad idea. You won't get confused which is whose. Iron Man, Hulk, and..."  
"Get her Thor. He's her boyfriend."  
"Thor has a Thor lunchbox. He was so pleased to have found it, too. Jane, what do you want? On your lunchbox."  
"Star Wars?", Jane half-yawns.  
"Iron Man, Hulk, and Star Wars. Okay."  
"Now that you mention it", Tony cocks his head, "you do look like Senator Amidala."  
"And your lines are worse than Anakin's," yawns Jane, "so shut it."  
Tony has the audacity to look offended.

 

 


End file.
